Despite the fact that I’ve taken on a weekly web novel project, I can’t help but notice how I produce so slowly. While I want to create and make consistently, I find that most of the work I do day to day is behind the scenes.
My health dictates whether or not I will go on a photoshoot, so I don’t have the opportunity to produce visuals as much as I want to. Even since beginning this blog I’ve simply pulled from my vast repository of photographs from the last five years.
I crochet a cardigan and take it apart, little by little designing the perfect pattern over sometimes several years.
I sometimes bind books, when I have the strength, and some of the books I’ve started I haven’t finished because I’m not sure how to fill them.
Writing is the one consistent thing I do, but much of it has been invisible. I’ve been working on a novel for about twenty years, and despite having a few complete drafts, I have yet to have someone read through the story from beginning to end. Even now, my time is mostly dedicated to my web novel, leaving me with little time to devote to the novel I want to publish.
And yet, the speed has been a gift. I’ve been able to grow, and suddenly in the last couple of years, I’ve gained the skill and ability to finally construct the novel for completion. I’ve spent the last few weeks taking my leftover time and reviewing old drafts and hammering out details and world-building.
And you know what?
Although it has taken this long to get to this place, I am happy with it. I am so glad I didn’t try to rush through and publish this even five years ago. I have gained a certain level of mastery in telling a story, and all the years of writing and building the story in my mind has paid off.
I can’t keep up an interesting social media feed for the life of me, but I can curate and age a story into a fine experience.